Today I'd like to share with you a metaphor that came up in coaching last week. The person was feeling overwhelmed by their financial situation and couldn’t see a way out of it. They felt like they were on a treadmill, running as fast as they could, about to fall off at any second.
Have you ever felt like this? You find yourself going at a frenetic speed, constantly busy, but never catching up or getting to the point where you can relax.When so much of your time and energy is spent on not falling off the machine, you never get the chance to figure out how to make things easier. So, you just keep running.
Your treadmill could be your finances, work, a relationship, or your life might feel like you’re on one big treadmill.
So, what can you do to banish the overwhelm feeling, and get back to a steady pace? Here are my tips on how to get back to the middle, set your own incline and become a better runner.
Step 1: Speed up to slow down. Get some breathing space.
If you’re living in fear of falling off the treadmill, your stress response will be activated, leaving you in constant state of fight or flight and overwhelm. To get back to the middle where you can engage your logical brain, you need to speed up, before you can slow down and settle in to a more comfortable pace.
What do you need to do to get out of fight or flight mode, get some breathing space, and start problem solving?
Are there any quick wins that can reduce the frenetic pace? Take this as the equivalent of closing down a few tabs in your brain, to free up capacity.
If finances are bothering you, could you arrange a payment holiday?
If it’s parenting, could you get a few hours to yourself to do something for you?
Although asking more of yourself when you feel overwhelmed may seem counter intuitive, making the shift out of fear and into curiosity will open up the door to solutions that your stressed-out brain just can’t imagine. And by implementing your quick wins, you’ll benefit by activating your brain’s reward system, helping to motivate you to move on to the bigger stuff.
Step 2: Reduce the “self-imposed” incline
Are you climbing Mount Everest, when you could be whizzing downhill for the same number of steps? The second aspect that can impact our ability to keep up, is the incline.
Coming back to the analogy, the steepness of the slope is set by the (often unconscious) beliefs, rules, expectations or thoughts that we hold about our situation. Which may have been there so long we don’t question them. But their presence makes the run harder than it needs to be.
What unwritten rules are adding to your overwhelm, making things harder than they need to be?
Some example of unhelpful thinking could be:
Asking for help is a weakness, so you soldier on alone.
It has to be 100% completed, when 80% is good enough.
Cooking from scratch every night, instead of what you really want - a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes and ice-cold milk.
The way we talk about things can give clues. Using black and white thinking, a lot of “shoulds”, or '“it’s just how it is” can be examples of us getting in our own way and making the hill steeper to climb.
Step 3: What happens off the treadmill....Get yourself race ready
You’re not going to run at your best if you haven’t slept, eaten nothing but Maccy D’s for a week and you’re wearing clown shoes. How you prepare for the treadmill influences your ability to perform at your best. Personally, I know I need to be in bed by 10pm. I also know I need quiet time in the morning to set me up for the day. Without these things, I’m going to be teetering on the edge of the treadmill, stuck in fight-or-flight mode, stressed and overwhelmed.
What do you need to put in place to perform at your best?
Is it better sleep hygiene? Watching what you eat or drink? Having more social time with people you love? Alone time? Getting some regular help or support?
Whatever it is you need, don’t ignore it. Make it happen. Schedule in the time to put it in place. And as I always approach change, see it as an experiment first. A data gathering exercise. Ask yourself, "Is the going to work for me in the real world?" If not, adapt the experiment and try again.
Don’t have much time? Here’s the quick version:
TLDR (Too Long; Didn’t Read) Section
When we feel overwhelmed, it can be like we’re teetering on the edge of a treadmill about to fall off.
To move away from the edge, the first step is to create some breathing space. Think about quick wins to get you back to the middle.
Once you have some space, reflect on what beliefs or expectations you are putting on yourself that may be making the incline steeper.
Off the treadmill, what needs are not being fulfilled that would help you run a better race?
If you are feeling overwhelmed, take some time to work through what you need to do to make your treadmill more manageable today.
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